She has a t-rex face on a stuart little body.
how the fuck am i supposed to make breakfast with spaghettios and mustard
I figure if he loans me money i only owe him sex for the rest of the summer before i pay him back, right?
you just used "cock block" and "youth group" in the same sentence. somethings wrong with you.
Someone just pulled taco bell tacos out of their purse in class....2 problems with here. 1) this class is nutrition 2) taco bell is not open this early.
He has a chalkboard tally in his bathroom of "Me vs. Toilet". He's losing.
Unless you're gonna start buying my underwear, you have got to stop ripping it off of me.
What happened with the girl wasn't a gay thing. It was just a mutual respect and want for sex. The guys just weren't there.
Call it what you want. You fucked a girl.
Ask him to get me chedder bratwurst instead of the molly
Unless if you guys already left. Then I want the molly
He sent me nudes and then a text asking if I tried the new Cantina Bowl from Taco Bell. He sure does romance right, doesn't he?
did I ever tell you about my gay jesus theory?
I'm so sexually frustrated I feel like I'm going to kill my turtle
I was sending him tit pics while watching how to train your dragon 2. It was everything.
He still want's to kick my ass for fucking his sister, probably a bad idea to leave the bar with his ex...
Birthday wine tasting got super shambly super quickly. I am covered in cuts/bruises/terrible life decisions.
Randomize
