So I think I might still secretly love him despite the ass licking...
Hey ass licking is a very nice and intimate thing! Don't discredit your feelings
But what if he licks everyones ass?
therell be strippers and coke right?
no strippers. just coke.
i hate this fuckin recession
how was the sex?
he smelled like pickles and burnt hair.
well, there's that.
You were hopping up and down because you wanted only his strongest sperms to make it to the egg.
Darwin at his finest.
I cant help but love a girl who informs me of the pregnancy test results by emailing me a YouTube clip of Barney Stinsons not a fathers day speech.
She wants to practice her harmonica skills on my penis
My friend asked me if I got home okay and I replied "Glad teat. Goodnight." Usually I can translate drunk me, but I'm even lost on that one.
I almost had sex in a public restroom last night in case you're wondering how much of a mess 22 is for me
Which is worse that I came in public or that no one noticed?
My night has consisted of googling cat penises and creating a Tinder profile.
You don't know the capacity of my vagina
How are you and your magical vagina doing today?
Became friends with a girl at work today until I realized we have the same taste in men. And I thought only I liked red-bearded fat men
She is either doing really drawn out crunches or trying to sniff her boobs...She's lying on her back with her hand behind her head, forcing her head into the cleavage that's ok to expose and then moves her head back and then does it again.
She pooped on me during a reverse cowgirl. And it wasn't a little bit either.
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