oh. my. god. the guy i hooked up with last night is currently wearing a dress.
you'll never believe how fucking awesome rain man is when you're stoned.
Drinking in an igloo changes everything.
Even My mom was ashamed of me bringing her home, she pulled me aside, and told me i can do better than, "butter faces"
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
once you started introducing yourself as "running-bear" i knew you were beyond fucked up
This is great- I found hangover detoxifying bath salt online. It flushes out the alcohol. We need this.
We had sex in the bathroom. Good sex. Toilet breaking sex.
The cops busted down the door and everyone ran. I was just trying to find my shirt before I got arrested
I just gagged from thinking about the amount of tequila we will be drinking. DRUNK TUESDAYS
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Today's been pretty great, I went and bought the new Batman for the sole purpose of masturbating to Bane
Oh hey. I left my beer there. Beer is more important than my pride. I want to pick that up.
The fact that I am laying in bed on my stomach with an ice pack on my rump is a clear indication that I am no longer in my carefree 20s
And as the acid sets in, he looks back at the shallow form he used to call his and whispers "3 pee pees strong"
And I had on a penis ring on the whole time at dinner. And I ate veal...
so he'll eat food out of a dumpster but he won't lick your ass?
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