that's the type of pussy you go to the bathroom and wack off before you fuck her, just to last longer inside of her!
This is a mass text. Does anyone know what the hell the asian woman at the end of Napoleon Dynamite is doing in the movie
beer for lunch on the first day back to school.... too soon?
Ya know, years from now when that kid is old enough, I'll get to regale him with the story of how I was his father's AND uncle's first gay experience.
This is so pathetic it makes me miss snorting lines alone in my room listening to 'one more drink'.
Chasing a shot of svedka with a clementine is NOT the same as tequila w lime...
Thanks for the drunken voicemail of bird calls. Love and miss you, too.
You just wrote a check for drugs...pretty sure you don't have cash for beer..
He sent me a limp picture of his penis with the caption " same ol, same ol' I cant believe these are the type of guys I sleep with
You went over didnt you?
Well, we won the drunk before noon contest!
I was grinding on him when mosquitoes starting biting us and ruined every damn thing. I just wanted to fuck on a slide under the stars. It's every girls dream.
you got into a really intense arguement about protecting bees. it was wierdly arousing.
It true. It written in the Bible.
Yes I remember that, right next to the passage where jesus said unto his disciples, pop molly, fuck bitches amen
I have so much to do, no motivation, and Harry Potter is on. You KNOW whats taking priority in my life right now
If u could sum last night up in one word?
omgwtfpineapple
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