i actually looked down at my cock today and said "whoa buddy, you need a haircut....(grimace) and a shower"
he's a bartender at a gay strip club. maybe he can work his magic. with getting u in, not gay magic.
47 days without vaginal penetration. Im pretty sure it's grown over.
Do you realize that if your cunt was a missing person it would be assumed dead?
this will be a night to untag.
The security guard told you that the room was off limits and you just looked at him and said,"Its okay, I have a beard".
His "hunger Strike for change" lasted 4 days. Hi welcome to my coke binge last weekend....not impressed
Im sleeping in your bed. Sorry for the sand and the noise and the loud people. Im starving
Your blankets are not drunk friendly
i think my love is proven by the fact that i still want to have sex with you after this conversation
As for the 14 hours of vodka. I am all that is man.
Okay I take that back some girl just said pussy sweat. Get me outta here
Get you some cowboy.
In that sentence you are the cowboy. That is not saying you should get a cowboy for yourself.
I'll be visiting the rave tower. Prepare your finest boxed wines for my consumption.
I mean I'm into guys with money but more into guys I'm actually attracted to
yeah i guess i'd rather he was hot than rich
wow i don't know if that qualifies as growing up but if it does i'm all in
I feel awkward having to tell people “sorry you can’t finger me because I will get a UTI and I don’t have health insurance”
I think i got beer on your cat.
Randomize
