I wanna do crazy things to you in a tent
fuckk wrong person
.. who was that for? a girlscout?
i killed an earwig and left its corpse on the wall as a warning
i think she is mad at you for trying to take a shit in the back seat of her car
Is it physically possible to shit out my own bone marrow? Because if not, then I need to see a doctor immediately.
Your lack of a response has proven you've clearly forgotten how crazy I am.
I do not want to do anything. The words more tequila need to be erased from my vocabulary
I may have just flashed my roommate as he walked in while my towel was falling. Now he knows what an American sized penis looks like I suppose
I swear with his long flowing hair and god-like body he looked like Jesus, a bong hitting Jesus
Because guys aren't supposed to cry. Especially when it's over a dude singing a Christmas carol.
yesterday pre dick pic he said "no disrespect to your situation but i cant wait to get ahold of you again in the future" is this how people network??
I spent two entire hours explaining to a guy why I wouldn't make out with him. How was your night?
Blame the bisexuality and move on?
Haha! I swear, it's like I'm talking to Buddha with a slutty agenda. You are so full of wisdom.
You know you drink too much when the bartender at your favorite bar recognizes you at chipotle with your sunglasses on.
I woke up while she was taking a panoramic photo of my morning wood
Randomize
