Listen, I'm 30. If it doesnt involve a super soaker and some chicken wings, you can count me out.
and im sitting here waiting for them to work on my car. in a room full of men. that are too old for me. its like a sausage fest nightmare...
just saw a guy throwing up in the urinal at Dennys. Either he had one hell of last night or we are going to eat somewhere else
just threw up on my speech test, so much for a great semester
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
they just started filling water ballons with vodka.
on my way.
I'm not drinking cause I'm like 4 vodkas away from a boom box and Peter Gabriel.
My roommate took my designated hickey removing spoon out of the freezer.
There is a hatefuck that has the destruction level of an atom bomb raging through my viens just aching to vaporize her.
When you mimic motorboating Jennifer Love Hewitt, is it really that hard to understand why no one thinks you're straight?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I don't know. Sometimes you can be a wild card with your emotions. Mostly the emotion known as anger.
He's all enlightened and liberal. My next beefcake will be much more Neanderthal.
Saw two pregnant women at court today and I SWEAR one of them said "we had a threesome with this random guy and he got both of us pregnant."
Don't worry I sent a creepy stalker message to a guy I slept with 6 years ago, Sunday Funday rock bottom
I just drunkenly signed my mortgage application...
Is this how the global financial crisis happened?
I came twice and when I was done I petted his head and said "you did good kid you did good" and just laid back smiling. Tell me I'm not awesome.
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