maybe touching the ground while going 70 wasn't such a great idea after all..
Yeah he gave the rest of the brownies to the bouncer that took his fake
I am three bowls, two beers, and a muscle relaxer into babysitting. What are you doing.
i feel sorry that you can never enjoy the feeling of shaved balls
but you must be fair and judge his penis by normal penis standards and not let your vision be clouded by the rare gem of a penis you have recently encountered
I'll start choreographing the sperm rain dance now
I just saw a wasted dude crawl out of the road at 2 in the afternoon. Big question- still drunk from the weekend or hitting the soju already?
do you think this outfit says "I maintained my dignity this weekend"?
Well his ex just grabbed his dick and told him yep Ill call u later
btw telling the cab driver, that took you to your booty call that is now returning your wallet that you left in his cab, that you want to hug him is awkward
how do you play pong handcuffed?
Also, I just opened Google to find the lyrics to California Gurls. Karaoke night did us dirty.
we are eating waffles in the pillow fort. Still think you're too straight for a threesome?
I'll be right over.
You were cussing me out in sign language, and slurring your signs.
That's some kind of record drunk there...
Left my wallet at the store. Wouldn't have noticed if the joint I just rolled wasn't in it.
Randomize
