so now she's a stripper
can't say i'm surprised
I hate this i feel like im wasting my youth here. I should be off hooking up with boys around the world and having awkward next morning convos in different languages!!
there is a ziplock bag over sangria in a wineglass in the fridge...classy?
i feel sorry for the hotel staff that makes the bed after we have sex
Do you think a former stripper/heroin addict constitutes as a high risk sexual partner?
My sharpie cut off line was invaded last night. Where's my turtleneck?
I walked outside an you were laying down talking to a star about your life. That's when I took the bottle of jack away...
Maybe it's because I walked straight up to that shelf of vodka with a look of determination that said "I mean business".
I usually have to have a cart! If that doesn't say "I mean business" then I don't know what does
When do you sleep by the way. I was surprised when I went to work at 1 am,left at 7 am and had a text from you somewhere in between
I just vodka nap now...
I declared today 'Have a Bloody Mary Naked Day'. Why? Because I'm hungover, thirsty & don't want to bother putting on clothes.
If I remember correctly I tried to steal a mail truck last night
YOU SLEPT WITH A GUY WHO HAS A BILLBOARD IN HIS HONOR?
the last thing i heard from her was "i wanna get fucked by a stranger" and i haven't seen her since
Hypothetical question: Would it be wrong to tell the annoying children who don't listen to their parents that the motel is haunted?
woke up, covered in gummy bears, with a note that said "the gummy army won"
Randomize
