Hold on, I'm google imaging "vagina close ups" to see if mine match up
his electricity got shut off. i felt like a pilgrim searching for his dick.
i distinctly remember leaping through the apartment to rescue the clam chowder burning in the kitchen
Why am I a bad person? You were the one trying to get people to eat tape.
You threw up on yourself, then proceeded to tell us "to not make a mess in your car"
You dont realize corn stalks will cut until you run from the cops through a corn field.
I shouldn't trust a guy I just met with the pull out method. That's a big responsibility.
I just realized, I'm going to be on my period for the end of the world. FUCK.
I never thought I'd say this, but I think I just saw the hottest pregnant chick alive.
It's like my uterus needs a hug... and anti depressants
We were getting fries and you hopped the counter and yelled "WELCOME TO GOOD BURGER HOME OF THE GOOD BURGER" and threw up
I'm going to get high and eat ice cream until the pain goes away. You're welcome to join.
He lives 20 minutes away driving distance and decided to walk. I talked to him today and he took a nap along the way... In a cemetery.
Here’s how sick I am. I’m not hungry. I don’t want coffee. And I don’t want dick. So, you know it’s bad.
I guess when the asshole said “I really miss you and want to get back together” he actually meant “I’m banging a Hooters girl behind your back.”
I hope she gives him gonorhea
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