you woke up, pulled a beer bottle out of your pants..took a drink and went back to sleep.
The sun is out and the snow is finally starting to melt here... Vodka bottles keep popping up everywhere. Guess it's the college version of burying nuts for the winter
11am puke and rally. THIS is what I'm gonna miss about college.
not to mention it took an hour of antique roadshow to calm my dick down
He apologized for his naked psychotic episode and then we had goodbye sex on his sailboat
The bouncer called to give me my shoes back when I got there he said " I'm all cool with fuvking bitches but when you try to to do it in my bar on the pool table you're gonna get chocked out every time"
At least you got your shooes
ecstacy + fleshlight = not all that upset about being newly single anymore
You screamed "show me a dick stand!" But before I could ask you wft that was you had passed out in the corner
He gave me twenty cool ranch tacos and declared, drunk, " Look, I do good"
My flask has coffee in it for finals week.. So that's responsible right?
You should help rebuild my confidence with your dick. Altruism: Pass it on.
Their first impression of me was that I was completely naked. So yeah college hasn't even started yet and I'm already that person.
Also, why does our bed smell like mayonnaise?
i puked in a jesus candle last night and then denied it... i'd say it was a pretty alright night
HE LIVES IN ANOTHER STATE
actually scratch that last text, he's the perfect boyfriend. He stays faithful and doesnt find out about all the guys here. it's a win-win
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