Me and my dog bond so much when im high.
I'm in the Wal Mart stall where we found out you weren't pregnant. This is where I'm going to propose to you. I feel like that would be the most romantic
He told his ice cream cone it 'looked cute' and then started to cry. The Dairy Queen people were not pleased.
Well I tried to call you. I was convinced my body was made of wood. But the Xmas lights in my room helped
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He was uncircumcised
It was like inception. A penis within a penis within a penis
Let me know when ur ready so I can throw up one last time then brush my teeth
Come get your sister, she's waving a shoe about and threatened to "teabag the Shit" out of the doorman because she can't check the shoe in.
Honestly and this might sound scary... But I want to get high and play with weapons
If God invented something better than rough, drunken, lesbian sex he kept that shit to himself.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
It is not a successful senior year unless you show up to campus without pants at least once, right?
I made a bong out of my deodorant today. Did you?
I slept with my wedding DJ..... I think this means my life has come full circle
He kept referring to my giving him head as a new level in our relationship and acting sentimental
You gave him a bj, not a kidney
It shouldn't be this hard to find someone who you haven't blown.
Every time I see this chick she's swimming naked at a pool party. That's gotta mean something right?
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