And i quote: "where's y'alls from comin' in with them accents?" - from a mississipi mcdonalds
He looks like the kind of guy that still collects pokemon cards
I like to think that tonight was Jesus punishing James Cameron for his role in popularizing "My Heart Will Go On."
I hid my booze in my old Sesame Street lunch box. Big Bird might be disappointed, but I feel Oscar the Grouch would approve.
It's like that depressing moment when you drop your cocaine in the snow.
I know for sure he's a bro because he closed the door so my gf didn't see me hooking up with her cousin.
After I was arrested and in the back of the squad, she lit a cig. I politely stuck my head through the glass opening and asked for a drag. She instantly slammed my head back, blew smoke at me and shut the glass. My view on state trooper chicks is forever tainted.
That's not as bad as watching a dumb ass drunk peeing into your window fan -
I just sent my ex off to a party, threw a condom at him, and told him to make good choices.
I have never appreciated strippers so much. Ma'am, you are an artist
Trust me.. Might look gay.. Might feel gay... But I could snap your neck with my inside thighs bro
Did I send you a drunk selfie with a pine tree last night?
McDonald's and a car nap. I feel kinda human
Jello shots? I thought you weren't drinking tonight.
Im not drinking im slurping
yes that’s a photo of a horny gay donkey
Oh I know. I’ve known many horny gay donkeys in my time.
Randomize
