Thanks for last night it was amazing as always
What are you talking about
You've got to be kidding me
I didn't know people actually cried after sex.
The only ground rules are no one is allowed to come who will say "no, that's a bad idea" or "what if we get arrested?"
My boyfriend just sent me flowers. I am now crying at the fact i fucked my fat neighbor. God please help me.
i've hooked up with him and three of his roommates and not a single one of them knows about it..think its safe to say i found the silver lining in a boys inability to communicate
You kept showing the cop the bruises on the bottoms of your feet and claiming you were a medical mystery.
I was ashamed to still be in my green tank this morning, but there's a guy here in full on bright green pants and a green blazer. He looks like the lucky charms guy stretched out at drunker than usual. Now, I fade into the background.
I Have a huge scrape on my knee and I need a better excuse than dry humping on a park bench...
I was at the pharmacy picking up my herpes medication and the pharmacist asked if I had any questions about my medicine, looked at the bottle, and laughed. Insult to injury man.
My boobs keep hanging out of this shirt. I think thats the style I'm going for tonight
I chatted up the pastor's son on Grindr during the service. Still ridiculing my decision to go to church this morning?
I am NOT pregnant
My barren womb can FUCK WHOEVER I want
I'm still drunk dear. I just woke up 3 feet from the front door with 20 dollars worth of taco bell in my hands.
What's the protocol for doing tequila shots at a baseball game when you're chaperoning for a church group? You know, hypothetically.
Dude, he came to our house with a beer can in his hand dressed up in a chicken suit screaming, "free eggs!" then threw up and passed out in the front yard.
Randomize
