the best job he will get is a sex ed teacher in alabama
I'm going to but the new Playboy with Chelsea Handler on the cover. I'm pretty sure it's the only time buying a Playboy will make me gayer...
I just had a cup of orange juice and thought it didnt taste right. It didnt have vodka in it.
She is sleeping in a dress because she's too drunk to put "real clothes" on
Who was that guy you went home with?
Hang on, I'm trying to ask his name right now.
Just saw a guy doing jumping jacks at the gym. I don't even have to create a punch line for that
I think I'm coming down now. I almost started crying because I lost a piece of paper.
Ive only seen a dude masterbate on a train twice, once on the Jtrain and once on the Ftrain... trust me you never wanna see where the subway turns around.
Also we saw a clown getting arrested. Rochester is weird.
Nothing says thanksgiving like acid flashbacks
And to add, there was a fat guy right next to me who, when the girls would shake their butts, he would let out a shrill xena warrior princess cheer
Please tell me you're not home alone watching Glitter.
Can you see in?
I'm jealous that you can use my boobs as pillows & I can't.
I bet your mom's never met a girl who's thrown up at the presidential inauguration before though.
I'd like to know who hasn't seen my tits tonight.
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