The guy next to me is watching porn. EVERYTIME I COME TO THE LIBRARY SOME RANDOM GUY NEXT TO ME LOOKS AT PORN.
we've reached the level in our friendship where i don't think he would rape me
whats a more ladylike way to say "fuck me on your lunch break"?
he only lasted 2 minutes. he said it was because i was so pretty. i'm not sure what to feel right now.
is it still called a breakup if its your friends boyfriend that you have stopped sleeping with?
My life has become a never ending game of 'illegal or just frowned upon?'
Normal vaginal pH: 3.8 to 4.5. Of course it tastes like a 9-volt. I could run a potato clock on that thing.
I invented the best game. It's called "what touched my exposed nutsack?" It can range from pillows to toothbrushes
We won 11 games of beer pong, and then I spent a half hour trying to get into the top bunk. Then i realized it was a cabinet in the bathroom
I can't believe he just friend zoned me like that.
Dude, you're not even gay.
The last thing I remember from that party was me shouting "hold my feet I'm going in strapped like Rambo"
I decided taking Molly and seeing Birdman seemed like a wise life choice.
You were yelling at the mannequin and saying "DON'T LOOK AT ME"
I JUST WOKE UP WITH MY UBER DRIVER
The man at the checkout said "Somebody's not fucking around".
It's gonna be a good night
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