Holy fuck. She looks like Vin Diesel's stuntman
You burnt your salmon and tried to mail it. Post marked to: Starving Kid in Africa
he was pretty good aside from the whole putting his tongue on my butt thing
Saturday dinner is funfetti cake and merlot. Singlehood has come to this.
New discovery: pineapple flavored vodka. Life made, liver in jeopardy. Graduation t-minus 50 minutes.
he made a bon jovi sex playlist and started crying when "i'll be there" came on... how was your night?
Join us. We're on the roof drinking breakfast
In your drunken glory you promised me, tongue, 12 naked pics, and 1,800 breakfasts.
first thing my tuition money buys is a strap on
I had sex with him and I blame the Doritos
Come on, will you just fuck him so we can watch Star Wars.
Slap a cop in the butt for a felony charge. Check.
All I remember is you shouting "THIS KID IS A FREAKIN' NINJA!!" when he dive rolled over a barbed wire fence and proceeded to ask for his 18th beer.
Of course his mom thinks you're nice, she doesn't know you have sex for cheeseburgers
One time!! I like sex and food....
Well... Chad blew off half of his hand last night. We were able to find most of it.
Randomize
