We've finally become those guys who you'd see in middle school when you went to the park who are just stoned out of their minds sitting on the swings.
Too late, the blunt's already in my cleavage
I thought of you while cleaning the forehead prints off my glass doors.
wanna play who's drunker? I just made macaroni & cheese taco and offered it to the pizza Guy as a tip.
So getting a bj to I believe I can fly is one of the greatest things ever
Remember me drinking the vodka from in between your legs?
I am a murderer. I ran over so many baby frogs. I wanted to stop and pick some up to take home, but all I have is a wine bottle. I'd hate to explain that to a cop.
She tried to gratify me left handed. Let's just say I've been placed on the 15 day DL.
It kind if looked like a strap-on dressed up for Halloween.
Did you put Adderal in the fishtank in the lobby? The fish are acting like Olympic sprinters. Asshole.
I came on her face and asked if she wanted fries with that. Currently driving to McDonald's.
I just want him to get into an accident where he's horribly disfigured but otherwise fine so he's not so freaking handsome
I woke up on a park bench with a nice homeless guy waking me up. I bought us Carl's Jr. Best birthday ever!
After 2 minutes he came and said, "thanks for everything". I can't wait to hear what he says next time when I do more than just lay there.
So I came to the conclusion that who ever pour my ever clear out saved my life
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