so the chest pain/shortness of breath/overdose guy we just took to tm hospital is now running down market street from the police in a gown holding his iv.
The guy I fucked in the port a poty just called me and asked me on a date!
Awkward!
No he was cute and I said yes!
my grandpa was trying to put butter into the pepsi and i'm like "grandpa what are you doing" and he looks down and goes "well i guess that wouldn't taste good anyway"
This bar is like a mediocre whore house....but free
You know how I know it's Spring Break? I just passed a car with "South Padre bound" shoe polished on the back. The driver was blatantly drinking a roadie and getting road head.
Happy graduation...we are now officially unemployed alcoholics!
thanks for showing me a good time......and your penis a few times. Thanks especially for that.
I just want him to slap me with his dick and call it love
Food Network. Taking bong rips everytime we want to eat. BOBBY FLAY.
Come over we're drinking with orange soda as a chaser to honor 90s nick kenan and kel.
stuck in traffic next to occupy boston. smells like patchouli and unshaven pubes
I just want to emotionally destroy him but also find out how big his dick is so this is perfect
I mean, I would have, but I couldn't come up with a logical reason to bring up oral sex during an orientation.
You're his holy grail. The moment he finally gets you to orgasm he'll probably just retire and become a monk.
just give up on your dreams and come get shit house drunk with me.
Randomize
