Di me a solid and hit me with your car.
i just shit on the floor of my room. my roommate was in the bathroom, my choices were limited.
Half my make-up was stuck to his thigh where I'd fallen asleep after the blowjob.
in the event i get tipsy, my nipples are your responsibility
Its only fair we share our golden vaginas with the world. It would be selfish if we didn't.
I was so drunk, I was kissing everyone. Their sexual preference was none of my concern.
He probably has his cowboy hat on, that's his house hat.
I'm cheerleading for traffic. people are staring. Why am i the only high person on the way to class?
As your attorney I advise you to rage rapidly
He's an acquired taste, like S&M or those crunchy things they put in salads
Croutons?
You just yell-acapella'd the theme to fresh prince of bel air to me while a different song is playing in the bar.
Let's go get coffee and handcuffs.
Please don't buy a buttplug. It won't fill the empty space in your heart.
He fed me jello shota while i was sitting on the toilet and then he peed in the shower
He told me he felt the only proper thing to do was fuck me to the top of the corporate ladder
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