i have a strong urge to join the asians in the park doing tai chi. I think im still high .
just won 30 on black! Ok adicteddd! Never coming back gqmbeqing is easy.
now my debit card is betting 1k whoops. im gongk eh be rich!!!
whoops didnt work. think the gambeli mashine is busters!! now im betting 2k?! bad idea?
We all need desperate help. Maybe we should just become a group of people who walk around town and shit in peoples air vents
I'm down.
Were you really trying to feed me potato chips while I was sitting on the toilet?
Imagine Captain Hook, but in penis form and sometimes shy.
I need to pack up my vagina and leave. We only do bad things together.
my balls were so many shades of blue last night I could have used them as paint and replicated the entirety of Picaso's blue period. The girl was an art major I feel like this metaphor is appropriate.
Came home plastered at 8am. Roommate had hot glued all the ashtrays and various items to their surfaces. Couldn't handle it. Went back to the bar.
The amount of times I have been emergency drunk in the past 72 hours is staggering
Just please try not to piss Danny off, I really can't afford to find a new drug dealer again
It's shark week go big or go home
Tinder in Coventry is like browsing a gallery of mugshots from Azkaban
Someone keeps hanging up bible verse posters in the bathroom stall I masturbate in at work.
Makes hanging out interesting when she lights you on fire just to roll ontop of you to 'put you out'.
I had more orgasms than hours of sleep this weekend. I’m going to keep him around a while
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