Just got kicked out of the ocean for being "unsafe".
I feel uncomfortable when she gargles my jizz.
Sorry I couldn't get my dick out
Im making the walk of shame with half a box of pizza, its like when youre little and you get a goodie bag leaving the party
I just bought a vibrating toothbrush with my parents FSA insurance card because I'm too broke for a vibrator. New.Level.Of.Low.
My dick was out way too much saturday not to get laid
It's like she can't drink without using a flambongo
When I left you were in the shower in your socks throwing up screaming it was blood but it was "ok" cuz it's recyclable. By the way it was kool aid.
Also we saw a clown getting arrested. Rochester is weird.
Yeah I just don't know how I feel about my fuck buddy coming to work at my dads office with me.
He left his boxers here. Can I keep them and make a shrine or would that be creepy?
Also the girl beside me smells like she's been in a deep fryer.
YOU HAVE BEEN BAD TOUCHED BY THE LEPRECHAUN OF CHOICES
I'm like a hairless cat ready to be ravished
We saw the mini basketball hoop and unicycle and just knew we had to create a new sport
Drunk minds think alike
Randomize
