Don't leave without me in the morning. I keep scaring everyone cause I'm sleeping in the bathtub.
u think ur still drunk from last night? i just put the eggs in the freezer and the remote in the sink. I don't wanna fucking hear it.
it's all just a bunch of faces and i remember what the floor looked like.
He warned me he may piss the bed. I'm oddly okay with this.
Did we literally take a cab across the street
I want to get my vag crammed with complete loss of every bit of dignity I have left by this man from every angle on every flat surface that exists. That is all.
What do you need? A swimsuit and a liver of steel? What else?
I've got my wine, though it wasnt very good so I threw a sour patch kid in it
Sorry, I am not your wing girl tonight,. in my pjs, eating cereal from the box. Hell I only shaved the inside of my legs just so they wouldn't itch. Not happening.
Eating a grilled cheese at a strip club... good idea??
We did hand stand push-ups while beer bonging. Its now a thing
You fell asleep mid blowjob with my vibrator in your HAND. So no, I will not bring you pizza.
I mean I'm sad it didn't work out but tbh he he can't unlick my booty hole or unbreak his headboard... He won't forget my name ever
your keys are upstairs on the nightstand or I put them in the hole in the wall
If you can give me an orgasm, you'll get a trophy.
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