I don't think its a good idea if I moon a whole bar again
Im really high right now and the vending machine is broken and giving out free candy. Please kill me, my life will never get better than this
ive decided something. ive accepted you as being gay. but i havent accepted you as a vegetarian yet.
he came within less than a minute of me blowing him. this was our second night hanging out in a row. for an almost 30 year old italian man, he is NOT living up to his country's reputation
its sad im about to start saving up for how drunk i need to be for the holidays
I was expecting a blowjob when she shoved me in the bathroom but instead she shaved my pubes into a mustache for my penis. I am still satisfied.
Yeah. You can ask him out. We're just fuck buddies. My vagina will be sad but your heart can be happy.
I'm pretty sure my lung is caught on my rib. And I can't feel the left side of my face. Best. Sex. Ever.
By the way. I expect to test the theory of you running a mile drunk for memorial day.
He was running late for work this morning, so I helped him out by finding a matching pair of black socks. And I hated it. So I'm currently drinking and reminding myself of the reasons I will never get married.
the bride at the wedding we just crashed said we can stay only if we strip for her. You need to get down here
Well it ended with everyone taking a bite out of a raw potato and a girl crying because her boyfriend wouldn't bring her any grape juice. So yeah...I'd say the night was a success.
Is this what it's like to be an adult? You plan out play dates for your vagina?
there are not enough nopes in the world for that situation.
Ate his Chinese food and drank his beer and played with his chihuahua. All while wrapped in a towel while he was sleep.
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