when does round two start
I don't know, I gave up bartenders for lent
What wine goes with Cap'n Crunch?
Sometimes I wonder how different my life would be if I didn't share a weekly margarita with my mom since i was 12
I was so stoned on the way to work, I pretended you were in the car with me. We sang "Mrs. Jackson" by outkast.
I once puked on the side of the hwy driving home and it somehow made me feel more Canadian. So don't rule it out
The car just stinks of weed and we are all sitting here trying to hide it from my mom by rolling down the windows, like it's not coming off my sisters boyfriend
Seriously I just dipped a banana in vodka I really need to stop drinking
Romney sounds like a middle school girl and that creepy ass smile makes me want to close my blinds
If the world ends now I want you to know I was on my favorite toilet fighting the good fight.
Cleaning my pipe and using the left over resin solution to make THC laced rolling papers and a jar of hash oil/honey for my tea
WE USE THE WHOLE BUFFALO
I lost my bra at his grandma's house so there's that.
I am so not sober enough to have a 5 minute conversation in Spanish
I don't intentionally mean to ruin relationships for personal gain but. Yeah nah I totally do.
We'd like to invite you to our threesome! Lingerie is encouraged and drinks will be provided. Next Friday, roommate night, my bedroom. Hope to see you there!
I only live four blocks from the bar but when you're hammered this walk feels like the journey through Mordor.
Randomize
