I'm gonna do things to you that will make the neighbors want to move.
Having sex with her is like doing taxes, Happens once a year and I usually end up paying.
I thought I would take a shower to wake me up but now I'm naked wet and stoned laying on my bed instead of just stoned laying on my bed
come on down! you are the next contestant on the night is drunk!
We're gonna have the chick that teaches kindergarteners to fold origami roll the joints.
The port-a-pottys are knocked over so I have nowhere to sleep.
On 3 separate occasions, she grabbed my bullhorn to announce to the entire party she had fucked me.
Not sure I just ate a really big pot brownie, I feel like my future is uncertain
Also they do not have any come back to america, i miss my fuck buddy cards at Hallmark.
my talents include tricking people into giving me money and free drugs
I want a shirt that says, "I'm sorry for the things I said when it was Taco Tuesday"
how am i in montreal? thats like a 3 hour train ride. i remember nothing.
The bride is so wasted, she fell into her cake.I wanna be on her level
dont go in the freezer to fetch your weed. my vibrator may or may not be in there. not sayin, just sayin
Can you get an STD by sharing underwear? Walk of shamed home and realized I was wearing someone else’s panties
No one knows. This doesn’t happen to normal people.
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