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He chugged from a bottle of wine and then we had pretend sex
How do you have pretend sex?
It was bad...so it was pretend
No stitches, just platelets and will power
I think i found my new favorite workout. Go to a party where you dont know anybody and constantly walk around the house so you dont look awkward standing alone. im up to 1.8 miles
Kinda felt bad though cuz she whimpered and shuttered a lot, i felt like i was kicking a puppy, only the puppy liked it and came a bunch
You've got more to offer than just money. Come on. You have an awesome rack.
He just reenacted his orgasm in front of my roommates....using a squeeze bottle of mayonnaise.
I was in the shower, he came in, had me give him a blow job, and left. I'm pretty sure I was just booty called. While taking a shower.
I'll see ya tonight at your house...and I'm bringing you a special treat that starts with a V and ends with us eventually going to rehab one day.
No need to get angry I'm just tryin to get my door back
So watch family guy till our brains melt and then bang till our bodies hurt?
Drunk me cleaned my room for me. Needless to say our relationship has improved greatly
Well I don't know him that well so I don't think I can give advice. You should make him a cake. Or have sex with him.
YOU ARE OBSESSED WITH PORCHES. I AM OBSESSED WITH PORCHES. HOW IS THIS REAL.
How bad is the voicemail?
You graded my boobs.... C minus. Asshole.
Is it acceptable to cry on a Friday or am I supposed to drink to forget it?
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