She had hickeys... what's up with that?? HAHAHA
He actually believes he's not an alcoholic if he doesn't go to meetings.
Nah, I'm just going to keep fucking him until he realizes we're perfect for each other.
HE'S turngign 18teen real soon.k
you pushed her into a kiddie pool and knocked out her front teeth... and you still managed to get laid. what. the. fuck.
Mango bong: no go. Guava bong: sweet flaming buddha it was delicious. I shall teach you the ways of tropical fruit trees.
Food lion is just a portal. Cheetos are the goal. Its like not banging a super hot chick cause she is french. She still has the same parts just from a different box.
Now I am going to fly my toy helicopter in the dark.
Lets have the type of night where its 5am and one of us has definitely punched someone who has been on a Disney Channel show.
I was woken up in my old house by the new residents ... I don't even have a Key anymore
correction: my vagina hates that I'm smart.
Momentum is force x velocity. So therefore velocity is 0 - hammered, and force is ur legs locked up and ur face hits the ground.
I felt paralized they just wouldnt move. We need segways when were drunk cuz if we start to fall forward they well take off and save the fall.
WTF was I supposed to tell them? "hi mom and dad, this is some rando I met on the internet. please ignore the noises that will be coming from my bedroom for the next 60-90 minutes. kthxbye."
I kept telling you not to give them blowjobs, but you kept screaming back, "it's okay, we're friends on facebook!"
skipped tacos for a blowjob. No tacos. No blowjob. More importantly...no tacos. Wtf?
when i was on the highway she passed out and knocked my transmission into nuetral with her forehead...that was an experience
Randomize
