I was 10 minutes late leaving for lunch today because I couldn't lose a boner. It is impossible to tuck it when your shirt is tucked in...gotta quit facebook stalking hot chicks at work
he was like Britney Spears in bed.. a little chubby and too medicated to perform.
it feels like my vag is blowing bubbles
Everytime I think about NYE, my gag reflex kicks in.
i grabbed his hand and told him i loved him and then he looked down and said "i love...mallomars" and shoved like three in his mouth. never been so embarrassed.
You tried to get the stranger on the sea bus to give you a bite of his chicken sub by repeating over and over "im in a girl band"
was this before of after we tobbganned into that tree?
Its only fair we share our golden vaginas with the world. It would be selfish if we didn't.
My vagina and my morals are playing tug of war
you picked up the vacuum cleaner at one point and said you we gonna beat the shit out of me with it. that was kinda funny
it was good sex until i became a rubber doll and he became a jack hammer, so i guess overall it was good
When I woke up everyone at the party was in their underwear. Only you guys were playing strip pong.
Yes, we all have the power to convince a large amount of people to take their clothes off
but it was less of a make out and more of a goodnight kiss as a "thanks for giving our drunk asses a ride home and sorry we called your bar the worst bar in LA"
You don't come back from leaving a bag of shit on someone's counter Jill
It's beautiful and huge. Like a dinosaur.