your dick doesn't do me any good in arizona
I found my laptop, credit card, and a bottle of Morgan all on the counter this morning. I'm scared to see what gets delivered to my house this week.
I just had the ultimate walk of shame. I'm barefoot, in his gym short with vomit in my hair and I walked half a mile through campus. At noon. Thanks for picking up ur phone
i have no idea who im with but someones making meatballs. im going to stay.
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She tried to keep her legs crossed last night while doing a keg stand. Way to keep it classy.
One of my students just said I have "big mommy parts". Even third graders know that my tits are too big. God I love em.
oh man. maybe i should puke on his dick? just to test how much he loves me?
Hold on there are flying pancakes I can't handle this right now
I just remembered that he had fake blood all over his face last night. I woke up with it all over my dick. He was 50. Please don't judge me.
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Btw I'm currently writing a paper in a beer garden. Be proud.
I puked so hard this morning that I peed my pants. I'm a gem.
Dude, you vomitted into a trashcan wearing your bear hands and high heels. Your drug dealer even said that was rough.
Well I either feel like the fat girl or very accomplished because his bed is now broken in three places
But I don't wanna live with them bc I need to be able to walk around naked and sex on any surface guilt free.
Two of the boys I banged while living in that house are about to move into it hahhaaha