my math professor just wrote "parallel" on the board, but spelled it "pararrel". guess what country he's from
so i just calculated it and i would need to score 150% on this final to pass
Just wana tell you im wearing assless jorts tonight. Ive been waiting my whole life for this.
going to a night class in lingerie so i can quickly go to his house after.
New York to be Host to America’s Biggest Singles Event
when she first told me she hooked up with him my initial response was to shout "WE HAVE SOMETHING IN COMMON!"
the creek. my friends left me at a party next thing i know im in a breaststroke relay race with a bunch of randos in the dark
I'd say I'd distract him, but I lose my psychic powers when guys get girlfriends. And by psychic powers I mean taking off my top.
Fire alarms went off at reception of gay wedding im at. We all had to evacuate until FD got here. Then...ill just text the photos.
I'm going as either a recovering alcoholic, or as a guy who came to the party straight from work. Too literal?
Kylie Jenner Wasn’t in the Kardashian X-Mas Cards & the Internet is Losing it
I feel like you guys are talking about real things and have real problems and I'm just over here like 'should I take muscle relaxers or get drunk tonight?'
Drowning in science and also vodka. Hope you're having fun.
That awkward moment when your boyfriend tries to have sex with his go pro on #hdporn
...and that is the first time I've ever wished fewer naked women on someone I like.
I mean we don't talk anymore but I still see him around wearing that sweater he stole from me after we had sex
I'm pretty sure i doubled the number of dicks I've ever touched, last night.