there are singles shoved down my panties. this is the type of summer job i always wanted.
May i just say it is extremely difficult to pee in a cape
I just heard a guy scream "it must be five o' clock!!" and another guy screamed "somewhere!!!" out from different balconies.
All she said was "the usual?" and unzipped my pants.
These People Are The Epitome of Lazy
My google searches from last night: tetanus shot rabbit bite, Bacardi gluten free
Good. We don't answer calls at dick thirty.
Trustme, don't ever look up when you're giving road head. It's awkward.
It's tough not drinking when the bartender adds rum to your coke without telling you, and doesn't charge you
Your shoe was in the washing machine. I have it in my pocket. My phone rang before and I answered your shoe. Meet me at the bar in 10.
Disturbing Scenes People Witnessed As Children
There a special place in hell for drunk criers. A special FUCKING PLACE
I unknowingly motorboated my boyfriend's ex-gf last night. Yay me!
On another note; I'm three days away from being 1/12th of my way from not having sex for a year. I need to get laid.
I can't wait to get to LA so I can punch her in the face
i showed up really high and was trying to not be,so in order to not seem high, i got plastered
You said "I feel like a koala bear. Do you ever just feel like a koala bear?" This is your brain on drugs.