you should buy a sheep. A) you get an awesome pet. B) free coat
All semester I have been trying to figure out if this kid in front of me is gay. His cell phone just went off with Britney's "Circus". Case closed.
Your kinda stuck between a rock and his hard dick on this one..
I hate nights where "I found my underwear" can be considered a victory.
I'll be heading downtown with donuts and a lawn chair at 9am to go Halloween Walk o' Shame spotting.
I ate cinnamon toast crunch. I'm officially out of the puke zone. Blackout drunk Friday. WHAT IS GOOD.
She needs more friends. Or a second therapist.
How do you respond to a booty call from yesterday?
I'd say it's his fault for never running us through proper protocol for "catching your RA in the middle of him banging some girl"
I pulled you and a keg around in a wagon for like five hours and apparently everyone else remembers it but us.
You are the epitome of what awesome would taste like.
He asked if I was a pirate because my "arrrrrrrrse" was worth burying. 10/10 for effort, 20/10 for serial killer vibes.
It's going to turn into you and me throwing down in a devastating lip-synch battle while everyone else stands around awkwardly.
I think you know you’ve caught feelings when you’re asking a tinder boy his opinion about your current fuck buddy.
You laid on the floor and pet their rug. and then demanded Voss water.
Randomize
