Whatever, you were 10 deep and there was a hot tub. No judgment.
I'm so prepared to puke on walk of shame tomorrow that I'm putting a toothbrush and toothpaste in my purse the night before. And to think, my dad thought I wouldn't make it in college.
5am, I am wayy too drunk for this. Hookers came out of nowhere. They're like ninjas. Some poor soul got the fat one, tomorrow's going to be interesting...
So we were having sex and his roommate walks in eating a bag of chips. Then proceeds to talk to us about his bitch of a professor.
Did he at least offer you guys chips?
Apparently getting a blow job in the mens room from the bar owners daughter will get you kicked out.
I've realized that I'm going to have to wake and bake every morning to make it through the summer without killing someone. This is ridiculous.
In case you were wondering, yes I did just watch the Katy Perry movie alone on a Saturday night. I'm so alone it makes a noise.
it's too much effort for something that isn't food.
After we had sex he told me it was a "goodbye gift". We haven't talked since.
So will your sis find it a compliment if I tell her I lost out on some awesome dick to go to her bday dinner???
Do you really want to know anything about the inner machinations of a furry's mind
Watch out for the bush at the end of your steps. it comes out of nowhere
they were drunk. and loud. and now they're drunk and quiet. or dead, you never know.
What are u up to today?
Marathon sex and eating.
You know that panicky moment when you go home with a guy and realize you’ve been there before?!? HAPPENING RIGHT NOW!!!
Turns out I banged his son a few months ago but the kids back at college so I don’t have to worry about him walking in while Dad has me bent over the couch
Randomize
