if we dont hook up this weekend, im doing both his roommates
all ill say about last night is that we tried to stop you. oh and the bus you're on is going to nashville.
You think they'd ask my permission before turning Pajamarama into an orgy. I saw too many of my friends dicks at once the door got kicked down.
I feel like my vagina stays drunk longer than the rest of me. It's always super sensitive and hungry the day after drinking.
Woke up in a wet suit with my junk cut out. In a strange apartment. Just found thing biggest bong u have ever seen. WHERE ARE YOU?!?!?!
I woke up to him pissing in their fireplace with fairy wings on.
Dont really know what happened near the end, Pockets were filled with skittles though
Alright, text me when you get close. I've got a mustache and I'm ready to get my day drunk on.
Because Kyle had a tattoo kit at his house and I wanted one and all he could draw was a mustache or a stickman on fire
Half of my brain feels like I donated it to science and they basically just poured jack Daniels on it and put out cigarettes into it before returning it to my skull
Ok because I want to set a new world record for how fast I can drink away my Christmas money
She actually purred while I was balls deep in her! I have never been so proud to buy plan b at 6:30 in the morning.
The assignment was about the Industrial Revolution so I just screamed at them in a British accent all day. No, they didn't know I was hungover.
I made out with the uber driver for free weed, I thought he deserved it
Dude I woke up with a handprint shaped bruise on my ass, a pong ball in my cleavage, and somebody else's gold chain around my neck. Who's house am I in?
Randomize
