Let's make love on the newspapers that declare financial doomsday
the taste of these tagalongs is totally worth boning that creepy troop leader chick...
For future reference, even the most well-intentioned game of whiskey pong is a terrible idea.
He kept buying me shots of tequila. I decided to just save myself the half hour of toilet hugging and tell him straight up that I intended on sleeping with him. We got Tacos on the way home with all the money we saved.
No I am not eating basil off your cock
she hid the dish soap because she was afraid someone would confuse it with the margaritas and drink it instead. her reasoning was "theyre both soo pink...i cant tell them apart"
I never thought your mom would see me throwing up on my hands and knees in your front yard
He came in both my eyes, then refused to give me a towel unless I found him by playing Marco Polo
I will fuck him senseless, no need for a priest.
I only have one eye to read your texts because I just stabbed one out after reading that last text.
Eye surgery went well. Just can't believe it took getting lasers through my eyes to temporarily stop the vivid sex dreams I was having
I mean, I love her. But not "I'll have a threesome with her." Type of love.
What's clit gel and why is it in my wallet.
I don't think I'm gonna survive today. I don't remember how to walk. I must crawl 6 blocks to my bed.
It would be magical, all 2 min of it.
Hes back in his dorm room dancing naked with 3D glasses on.
and he said that acid doesnt really do anything to him...
Randomize
