So..he puked on my dress and I had to walk back to the dorms in his little sisters Scooby Doo pajamas.
I don't know you.
I woke up at 4am on the couch with half my clothes on. And by half my clothes I mean my earrings.
she sucked my dick to get the taste of the last guy's out. I need to find a new friend with benefits.
You sucked the drug dealers dick for a 20 of coke...?
Nooo, I payed for that. I sucked his dick because I had an urge.
Just had a pleasant conversation with a mugger while he was taking off my shoes. Why can't I get along with people like this sober?
I take it that, because we are not guzzling a box of franzia, everything went alright?
I just ASL-ed someone for the first time since 2002.
So did he inherit the massive family cock?
:(
We were high as shit. We argued for like ten minutes about going to Dunkin Donuts and then just ended up rolling down hills. Thanks for the weed.
A sexy devil squat down and peed in front of Tom Hanks from Castaway.
Shirley Temple died. We owe it to her to get dirty shirley wasted.
I woke to him laying in the floor puking in a shoe. So I guess we had a good night.
He told me he felt the only proper thing to do was fuck me to the top of the corporate ladder
Brother gave me a harry potter philosophy book for xmas we need to get stoned and talk about this.
Sunday morning breakfast with the boyfriends family. I just puked in the stall at Cracker Barrell. Classy.
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