Is it sad that I woke up to more "Happy Holidays" texts on 4/20 than I did on Christmas?
your philanthropy is ruining my sex life.
Also I smoked away my sore throat last night. It's a 420 miracle.
Just told my mom sparks is a health drink. Officially getting hammered on the way to the beach.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i just remember explaining why my socks were better than everyone elses.
The moment you ate chicken nuggets out of your purse you were my hero.
Where the hell did i get chicken nuggets from
The first couple times was just weird, but after last night, I'm beginning to think you have a real problem banging pregnant women who are carrying someone elses child.
That awkward moment when you can't tell what smells like tacos: you, the cat, or the strange guys blanket your so tenderly swaddled in.
Can I color on your dick again?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
GET OVER HERE. HOTTIE ALERT
^^^This is why you should have charged your phone prior to going out.
I'm gonna try Jim's breakup remedy this weekend.
Is that the one where you drink 3 cases of beer and rewatch as much WWE RAW as you can find? Or the one where you hookup with fatties on Craigslist?
There is a severe lack of banging on that itinerary... I'd like a revision on my desk within the hour
Dude, I'm not going to use a butt plug.
We were covered in sweat and glitter, making out onstage, in front of everyone. I think it was a good night.
Text me some of your sweat
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