Well we can cross off dogs, dating sites, and real life as ways to help you meet a chick.
The world would be so much better with thought bubbles.
He sent me a pic and IT CURVED OUT OF THE PICTURE! Curved. Out. Of. The. Picture.
using the campers leftover pizza money at the bar. Definition of great counselors right here.
Why do I have a missed call from "The Anaconda" ?
I ate shit on a rock, and when I got up this car full of people asked me if I was okay, and I just sprinted away screaming "I am a banana!"
Also, I want you to know, that not only am I apparently the expert on sexting. Our bishop is consulting me later. So my talents are varied.
He woke up, yelled "RALLY!" and then puked in my glove compartment
Okay who let me pass out in a recliner cuddling a pitbull and a cardboard cutout of Orlando Bloom
doing the walk of shame back to your house in nothing but a bed sheet was definitely not one of my proudest moments..
coughing up blood. I'm leaving for the doctor now. P.S. I just won $350 on the wheel of fortune machine in the casino.
after what u told me last night I think we're past the wtf zone and at this point u should just join me in wondering if my barista lover is a gay porn star
That's MADAM THUNDERCUNT to you
You have cats and a ten year IUD. Embrace it.
He was referring to me as "Teenage Dream" the whole night
Randomize
