it was like she wanted to be a once a week night stand
he told me that if i wanted to smoke he could make a piece out of my shoe. were keeking this kid around
there were more penises there than on chat roulette
"reccomended dose" hasn't been in my vocabulary for quite some time.
I guess on the plus side everyone really, really enjoyed my nipple clamps
He cut part of his finger off. It was a consolation blow job.
Me and my vagina aren't speaking at the moment.
If he's dead I'm so gonna get the blame. I have his passport, keys and his tooth in my purse.
Sorry 4 leaving u in the dumpster last night
When I found her she was drinking wine out of a plastic bag in a bathroom stall, staring at herself in the mirror and crying hysterically. Cabo does things to a person...
I'm proud of all of us. Somehow we all survived another Jägerbomb Tuesday
I need dunkaroos back in my life.
You were wearing a sequin mini, with Tevas. And you still got laid.
You gotta come over now. He is eating cupcakes while they are still in the foil.
We ended the night eating peanutbutter with our hands and smoking cigarettes in the house at 4am. Fucking Everclear, man.
Randomize
