it was all downhill after the free blackjack taco
what started as sign language exam pre-drinks to calm the nerves turned into me waving at a deaf woman for 20 minutes
Hes the only one i know who can talk to a girl for an entire hour abuot the science in starwars and still get laid.
Cocaine Wednesdays have to stop turning into no work Thursday
As I sit on the toilet at 4 am I realize tonight could have gone a lot better
Just helped a homeless man panhandle outside of Wawa, made him $6.31. Where are you?
Nothing like running into your favorite bartender in the middle of the afternoon while stone cold sober and being told your grabbed his penis the last time you were at his bar. My bad.
Brian got his first ever blow job last night. We should make him a scrapbook.
Well, we won the drunk before noon contest!
I bet Billy Ray Cyrus wishes he had pulled out now....
Ohh I see how it works, eat pussy and I get Reese's pieces.
Things my liver can't take in one weekend. Surprise nights off at work and male strippers. Woke up jaundiced.
I have commenced my lesbian college experimentation. Wish me luck
So apparently it wasn't anything really bad, it's hemorrhoids. Which is the medical word for butthurt. I actually have ass ointment.
It's difficult to focus on bonds when you know your classmate peed in your mouth
Randomize
