Grossest hangover story of 09: Puked in the bathtub. I was in it.
idk whats worse playing power hour to yourself, or the fact that you were having fun while doing it
Sometimes I wish I could open my skin and just take a little peek at my liver. You know, just to see if it's rotten yet or still perfect looking.
I have vomit stuck in my nose, you should come with a warning label.
I'm on a no morals kick. That'll be 3 girls in 24 hours....ending 2011 with a bang
Drinking vodka straight out of a beer bottle because I don't want to be judged. Not my best idea and not my worst.
He bought segways. We ride them when we get drunk. Last night he ran through the sliding glass door.
I'm willing to share. He can have sloppy seconds.
Should probably stop going into the gas station to look for the most normal person to hitch a ride with to drive me to a party
I'm sorry I tried to stab you. I just really wanted those mozerella sticks.
Write this down so you can tell me in the morning. "That bartender needs to be in my mouth."
last night is slowly putting itself back together. Its one giant slutty puzzle, all the pieces are covered in tequila and shame.
He went down on me and then made me breakfast in bed. He's a man you can bring home to mom.
Do you think it would be weird to wear a shirt that says 'big fun small package' from an ex for a first date?
what a classic moment of my life. A buffet of taco bell and a taser gun.
Randomize
