I think it is impossible 2 take a person seriously when their last name is Pancake
I buy you gas. You blow me. Economics.
He's Hawaiian. Thank god it wasnt a real American
Using what I learned in my global terrorism class last semester to sneak booze onto my cruise. thanks college.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
We just found a knife wedged in between the cushions on the couch you guys fucked on...why is this?
dude, I'm passing out in the fifth floor janitors closet. Let me know when the rooms opened back up
i've been lying on top of my bed for the past 20 minutes
i'm about to blow half an adderall though and try to rally
The bride and groom wore the Batman masks I brought. Best wedding ever.
My boobs are feeling quite sensitive so I told them, " you is smart, you is kind, you is important" that should do the trick.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Just found out that his ringtone for me is a train blowing bc and I quote 'I know when you call I'm getting laid'
Oh god now he thinks I'm into him because I've been staring at him trying to figure out what animal he looked like
If you can't seal the deal with her, I will. And you know I'll be successful. So there's your incentive
I was "singing along to the Lego Movie" high. Everything was not awesome
And you hate the library
Yea but I love drugs and my grades
I didnt know whether I was going to vomit or orgasm because I was feeling both sensations
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