dude I went to cubs game with my mustache, aviators, and a hooded sweatshirt. Do you think it was irony or fate that there were four 17 year old girls in front of us?
You were hopping up and down because you wanted only his strongest sperms to make it to the egg.
Darwin at his finest.
Just got walked in on during safety inspections
Think you passed?
it wasnt like "sexy" or whatever. like...she was smiling just standing there butt ass naked
tasteful.
slowly transforming into a stationary lump of steel. how can you tell me that was JUST weed
90 persent of me said don't pee on that fake plant. Buyt i did
Thank you for making it possible for me to get laid while having peace of mind my dog is well taken care of.
I can't bring an entire liter in the bar in my purse. I mean I can. I might. I'm probably gonna.
It's getting harder and harder to find People to carry her home
She shouldn't drink
I smoked out of two pipes at the same time while my friends wielded the lighters last night. It felt like I graduated to the next level of stoner.
He literally just peed in a trash can in our room. It didn't even have a bag in it
Drunk is not a location!
I remember walking into a bathroom stall that had a couple fucking in it and giving them a condom and a thumbs up and then leaving
Smoked a joint with mom, best Thanksgiving ever!
Omfg I just White Claw shamed a Girl Scout Cookie mom and I feel SO BAD.
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