very cute, but more "I wanna put you in my pocket and keep you as a pet" and less "please bang me" type of cute.
DUDE. I'm missing my big toenail. My bed has blood all over it. WHAT DID WE DO LAST NIGHT?
I don't know, but I chipped my tooth and I'm wearing different underwear.
a strip club that doesn't allow touching or asking for sex... whats the point?
unless her vagina can tell me my horoscope in sign language, I'm not going.
my brother walked in while we were fucking, silently took my bong from my closet, saluted us and walked out.
her bf's celebrating 10 yrs of service at kfc...it's safe to say all the good men are taken
All I know is that it's pretty damn mean to put a glass wall in a bar.
Ive seen teh same guy pissing in the corner. Twice. Its eally weird. My frieds gonna do th funnel. Im so excited for her! Love, cori. Cuz its lik a diary.
I can hear her moaning. I'm on some random guy's counter. He wanted me to cuddle but I said I didn't know how.
We are getting high tomorrow and being statues at the cafeteria. Come find us.
Ya well here is the deal with last night, it was the Biggest shit show we have ever co-stared in.
Im gonna wear a random assortment of things for Halloween, guy with the most creative answer gets laid
My pants are like a grocery bag containing ONLY jelly beans right now.
I bought left over pizza from a guy on Craigslist.
I smoked all his weed and he hasn't noticed yet. But I might need a place to crash when he does
The morning after your company Xmas party and that moment you're eating a block of cheese in bed wearing a sequin blazer and recalling all the details of your one night stand with a coworker who happened to start that day...fuck.
Randomize
