You give one guy a hand job and suddenly everyone wants to get with you
You stuck the head of a rubber chicken you found in her house up your ass and then started running around her living room. Naked.
when we were having sex and i started crying and telling you i missed you..why couldnt you stop and tell me how you felt or make me feel better?you kept going...
going to class early so i have time to go on the moonbounce. this is why i go to art school.
Sorry I wasn't really responding earlier. I was really fucking high and so into that car chase.
Who the hell poured a whole pouch of Capri Sun down my throat last night?
I'm sorry I compared your vagina to nascar
I cannot tell if the couch is cold or I spilled beer. THAT kind of night.
Dave used his AAA card to get my car towed to my house so I could get drunk. Evil genius.
What time do you think you'll be heterosexual?
Who wouldn't want a man who can knock a guy out but also loves the bachelor.
It's the best of both worlds
I'm shotgunning a 12 pack at a bus stop. This is why we pay the rent with an auto withdrawal at the beginning of the month
I needed 3am water. Not 3am shots of rum.
like i got into his car and the beatles were playing. this kid is def getting his dick sucked
well, you know. whores of a feather.
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