i must have dtf stamped on my forehead
you yelled "you will never make love to jesus" and then ran into the tv.
There are babies in the room i shouldnt be high with babies in the room.
is he apposed to sex in general? or just porch sex?
She fell asleep on the sidewalk and people starting using her as a hurdle
I miss waking up knowing you're passed out under my bed.
so how does soaking flintstones gummy vitamins in vodka not make perfect sense
shit went down at the bar when this girl with 'morals' totally cock blocked a married guy. she actually kicked IN the bathroom door when they were fucking in there. then we all did shots.
At least I'm fat on the outside. You can NEVER change being fat on the inside.
I know it was your bday but bringing a airhorn and blowing it yelling "buy me a fucking shot" in the bartenders face was a little uncalled for
And then he served me a piece of a brownie on his dick. It tasted amazing. Such a good night!
He doesn't have much of a personality but he makes up for it with his sexual prowess
keeper.
taking shots alone in my kitchen before I go learn to give a lapdance. when did this become my life?
I'm so high I have morphed into the monopoly man. Or maybe the Pringles guy. I don't know but I have a mustach now
Can I bother you for a second.
You always bother me but go on.
Randomize
