Ben's a prick.
What Ben are you talking about?
All the bens across all the lands
Whats the glycemic index on semen?
Found an earplug stuck to the inside of my thigh this afternoon. Just how much noise were we making?
Um don't talk to me about fat. I just used my chip bag to cover up all my candy wrappers in the garbage.
I dont know whats worse: her telling me she was so drunk i was "almost sexy," the fact that even when theyre shitfaced, im just "almost sexy" to girls, or the fact that i wasnt that offended by it.
sellin beer in gallon jugs is both the best and worst idea ever. Im only gonna have one beer...but its gonna be 128 ounces.
then he tried to tell me how many times he had seen Scott's dick. his estimate was about 180 times. he thought I didn't understand.
I'll probably just close my eyes and point to a random name. That will be my vote.
I just realised how much we're failing the women's suffrage movement right now.
She said we couldnt stop drinking until there were enough bottles to make a fort. so we could have sex in our "bottle castle"
In all fairness that 65 year old man looked 23 in club lighting so you can fuck right off
You told us that you were going to become a 'new man' and threw your tv set out of a window.
I couldn't read the menu. I ordered the first thing I was able to read. Don't think I ate anything. Left $20 on the table.
I REALLY NEED TO STOP CELEBRATING THAT FUCKING HOLIDAY
I associate the Game of Thrones theme song with his dick now.
If you don't sing 'dust in the wind' at my funeral, I'll haunt you forever
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