Alarm just got pulled in my exam
Swear it wasn't me
I haven't gotten laid in forever. I'm obsessed. I imagine I this is how Ethopians feel about food.
i wonder what thom yorke's orgasms sound like
so he came over for the first time and i completely forgot i had pictures of him printed out from facebook on my wall and a newspaper article with him in it.. you can guess that it lead for an awkward situation.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You ruined his night from a different state? Impressive.
Hovering on the line between her being fuckable and me being too drunk to fuck. Life's juggling act in progress here.
He drives a BMW. I have to fuck him. Girl Code Rule #26.
FYI...Jose likes Shamrock shakes better than Jack
And as cleavage season comes to a close, so blooms a new season of yoga pants. And the people rejoiced.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
We have a bucket list tonight. Not done yet. Gotta climb a building
No sex in the champagne room. The champagne room being my life
I just read through our messages from yesterday and realized we both referred to me tearing my penis as a good thing. What the fuck.
I just found a weed leaf in my leg hair..
When you wake up to a porn star on your couch telling you, you better tell your boyfriend about last night.
The weirdest part of it all was wondering if I was going to take off his fanny pack or he was before we fucked
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