Come to the Burger King. We're waiting for you.
I decided to follow my clitoris instead of my heart.
i told her she would have to blow me everytime we lost a game of beer pong, she never noticed i purposely hit our opponents in the face every other shot
We decided that the paper cups disintegrating was god's way of telling us we had had enough
Yeah someone just put a trash bag that says "use protection" on the snow penis
I feel eeeverything like there's a rhythm and everything can be felt w/o ever touching it. And it's beautiful. Sunshine or raindrops it's like orgasming. Everything has a taste.
I drunkenly asked a stripper to join our volleyball team.
So basically he tried to get out of the car and crawl on the highway with the broken leg because he didn't want to go to the hospital. It was not a good time...then we got pizza though.
I only made out with him because he cured my hiccups
Wanna tell me why vodka seeped out of the memory foam when I climbed into my bed?
Atlanta road trip update. Jimmy fell into the petting tank at the aquarium. And freaked out. With cops now... Keep you posted
Did copperhead road at the bar. All the girl next to me did was stare at my glorious bouncing tits. CAN I FUCKING HELP YOU?? I worked hard for these tits.
I impressed him by taking off my panties without removing my pants.
I know it sounds cheesy, but i think both me and her mum know they are "thanks for being so cool about finding nudes of your daughter on the camera" flowers
YOU ATE THE FUCKING GOLDFISH!?
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