there is a polo shirt epidemic at this bar. also, im pretty sure i just saw the grown-up coppertone baby
just told my prof that "i dont give a fuck" about the final. nothing like a having a signed employment contract already
woke up to an overdrawn credit card. did you order the dawsons creek boxset last night?
i hope so.
turns out making maccaroni and cheese with whipped cream instead of butter is only good when your high
there was naked duck duck goose
how does that even get suggested?!
after naked leap frog.... it wasn't that big of a deal
drunk me just left notes all around the apt to remind shitfaced me that i have mashed potatoes in the fridge. do not take them down if you come home before me.
were drug buddies, doing lines off her ass is just a bonus
im sober
you just pulled your sweatpants out of your bag and thanked them for being alive
He and I are basically the same person, except he has a glorious penis and I have glorious breasts.
Make the kitchen floor stop waving. Im trying to lay on it
too bad I'd hit a car before I'd hit a bush.
Are we talking about jumping from windows or your willingness to fuck a car instead of a woman?
Remember earlier when I was excited about finding that birth control pill in my purse? Definitely acid.
His face matches his life choices. Both are train wrecks.
I woke up to him crying and pouring pixy stix in my mouth saying they would bring me back to life.
It's a weird kind of sexy when a guy has a bunkbed with his roommate
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