This is some kinda fucked up sordid doggy brothel peepshow bullshit.
Having a pigeon watch you poop is just creepy. Drunk or not.
My costume is made up of 4 inch heels and a firefighter costume I'm borrowing from the dramatic play area of my Pre-K classroom. I told you I could still be slutty on a teacher's salary.
Don't park in the garage. I installed a stripper pole while drunk and it's kinda in the way
i just had to hear from a third party that he came inside of me
I saw him walking to campus with his beer in his hand in the same sweats he wore walking to campus with a beer in his hand yesterday.
How do you say "get out of my apartment" in Spanish. No time to explain, just tell me.
Before we fucked we both mutually agreed not to tweet about it.
Idk how much more i could have responded my dick was basically trying to unzip the zipper and hop out
How was the party last night?
I'm dangerously close to shitting myself.
Where'd you go last night?
Don't EVER let me photobomb a group of lesbians again. They made me their "straight mascot" and I ended up singing Donna summer tunes for beers at their apartment complex.
You and your dick were a topic of high regard tonight
Already drunk, almost got in a fight with a bunch of irish chicks. And another with canadians. On my way to get a tattoo. I plan to regret this trip.
I put on a face mask and masturbated for an hour... my face now has a green tint
oh.. my GOD my dad just text me... "i need a naked women" ........... help?
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