How wet are you?
Ever heard of a U-boat?
The bridesmaids just went smackdown on the floor, over the bouquet. I saw nipple. Best wedding ever
they lined up to high five me when i got taken out by the stretcher. The paramedic high fived them too
There is soup leaking out of my nose nothing in life has prepared me for this moment
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Charles Darwin would shit his pants if he saw that we managed to survive that weekend.
she broke my one feeling. seriously I think she broke my dick.
Sometimes you gotta say "hey, its been a long semester. Let's puke before 10"
I would recommend NOT getting ass enhancement shots.
Me too, I feel like I pinched your nipples excessively. At the time it seemed like a good idea, but in retrospect I'm not so sure.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Sorry for face planting onto the table with all our alcohol on it
Your actions as of last night have earned you over thirty new nicknames.
I need to get off of her emotional roller coaster. I've been on it for a fucking year and I've been throwing up the entire time.
I'm a dude in a dress, who came to a party with Holly GoLightly, got hit on by Bambi's mom, and wants to do terrible things to Link. Halloween is weird
Just set the kids up with doughnuts downstairs so I could go up and masturbate uninterrupted. I am such a good mom.
The last time we went to a costume party, you walked around in a loincloth with a cross and said you were Jesus. I'm eager to see how much more offensive you can be.
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