He seemed more like the type to get donkey punched by a she-male hooker to me
Having a conversation over beer pong about a threesome I participated in...it's only Wednesday
I would like to thank collapsed soviet republics and fathers who didnt show enough attention for tonight's festivities
I havnt been this mad since the coche de Los murtos incident
i'm on the subway and being revisted by the ghosts of tequilas past.
just made one giant jello shot... if i have to study on a saturday night, i'm gonna do it as drunk as possible
I almost itched my nose with the lit end of a cigarette. Help.
Side note: Hot guys are now getting with ugly chicks. Alert the media.
all i tweeted was "emergency this is not a drill" and he immediately texted me asking if this was a subtle booty call…it was
i need some fresh meat. meat that has a license and a job and isn’t a FULL-blown alcoholic. partial i could tolerate, bc, haha, let’s be honest, me likey my drinkies.
Why were you naked on your bathroom floor?
It was a "get entirely naked to take a shit" kind of blackout I think.
Everything is a learning experience. Last night we learned why I'm not allowed to bring guys home from the bar....
i think ive been high everyday since ive met you
Drugs and unwanted pregnancies are the only things that I'm good at. College comes in at a close third.
I just saw a guy walking down the street without a shirt on and holding a samari sword....
Randomize
