I DON'T KNOW WHERE WE ARE WE ARE TOO FUCKING ELEVATED.
Me either! Fuck yeah, 12th and something. 12th and hamburger stand.
so all night Ive been that girl with her tits out @ the bar. I mean I dropped jaws, yo. But in a classy way.
I'm surrounded by 3 year olds in tutus. They are far too innocent to be within at least 500 ft of me.
I had to have the lights off to hide my face. I was laughing so hard I almost peed in her mouth
All I can think about is getting a lawsuit and chocolate
One reason I feel like garbage: Kraft single wine shots
You should just construct a mini-city, actually. Then destroy, photograph and post. Who could turn down a dick that conquered a whole city? Craigslist personals wont know what hit it.
Decided to make myself tequila gummy bears but got impatient and just drank the bowl of tequila.
I want Walter White to make me a bologna sandwich while I'm chained to a support
Oh Jesus our whore days are numbered
I think you're my feminist conscience sometimes.
God dammit everything I said last night about jungle juice being awesome just does not carry over into the next day
Not sure, she said after cussing out the dentist they called security. Make that the first person I know 86'ed by a dentist.
he was just sitting there in his underwear... and his chewbacca mask...
It’s bad enough my brother slept with half of the sorority this year, but now he’s lifeguarding at the club and every divorcée and cougar in town is asking me for his number. My twin is a manwhore and I’ve become his pimp.
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