I'm curled up in a ball on the floor of my office with the lights off. I hope no one notices. No more open bar. Woof.
this is amzing! feels like my body is having sex with its surroundings!
I love Japanese schoolgirls with short skirts riding bikes on windy days.
You're never coming back, are you?
It's officially time to start saving up weed money for the NCAA tournament
There comes a time in every girls life when she must use her boobs for good instead of evil.
Your pregnant arnt you
gave you a haircut while you slept. Please don't kill me.
She gave him a lap dance on the glass table. You can guess how that ended
You were drunk it couldn't have been that bad
I've never been drunk enough to enjoy getting a blister on my dick.
He ate the contents of an ashtray and didn't puke, I think he can handle drinking a fifth to himself.
so you ordered business cards online last night with a picture of your dick on them. you need to hide that new credit card when you drink
So you're mad that I let you go home with the guy with soft hands but yet you can't understand that I was just trying to help you
Goddamn it. Hes got me addicted to his penis
No I did a yoga dvd and hit my ex up via email for some pot in exchange for his mail.
Did anyone see us fucking last night on the giant turtle outside downtown Disney?
He said watch this and then went and tripped into a group of 40 year old women, now he's leaving the club with them.
Randomize
