I just had sex in the back of an ambulance. Call me.
you were going around the whole club telling people to smell ur purse
Dont ask, hes out back rolling around in the yard freaking out. literally just had a 15 minute conversation, only word i could make out was "yellow"
The nurse who basically saved my life just came into the store. Didn't recognize her. Awwwwkward.
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Oh, and I'm only keeping her around till spring. Doing the hunt for cunt is too tough in 12" of snow.
He screamed AMERICA, took a shot of vodka out of a Tupperware container, and then asked if he could see my tits
I woke up on top of his counter next to a pot of boiling water and an empty package of ramen... what happened to the ramen, we will never know.
I won't trust your judgement until the word stripper doesn't make me laugh
We were cuddling in his bed and I asked him a question and followed by making a microphone with my hand and told him to speak into it. If he never talks to me again that's probably why.
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My glasses were in the garbage this morning
Dude is PACKING. And yes I am holding up a cross and holy water and hissing like a pissed off goose.
Oh the best part of having sex with him was that he made me a smoothie after
i'm at work, alone, drinking a spiced chai & fireball hot toddy. holiday OT isn't that bad after all.
yeah i ran into him at the bar at 11pm. he started talking about engineering and the next thing i know it's 4am and i'm naked on top of him.
I remember her making the first martini but the rest of the weekend is a blur of vodka, high heels and sex toys.
First time being used by a cougar. Definitely okay with it
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