My head feels like little people r playing bumper cars inside it
Seriously, I would hit on barney the dinosaur right now if it meant I was going to get laid.
I just left during the middle of Chemistry to go throw up in the bathroom....and you laughed at my travel toothbrush.
she asked if mt Rushmore was natural or man made
hey, when you wake up, search yourself on youtube
my sister already found it, were watching it right now. i give it 2 thumbs up.
nobody understands how my tooth became embedded in the ceiling last night.
Am I really that girl who walks around half naked wearing a cowboy hat begging for liquor at some random guys house
It was like an ecstasy filled massage for my vagina.
That's the best compliment I have ever received.
I just got hit on at the bar by a guy who used his mother as a wingman, she was pretty convincing. Only in Stratford.
Thanks to that wedding, I got to use the term "finger bang" more than I have since high school.
Having weed delivered to your door is like having your own personal Santa Claus
I don't know if I'm more excited about sex or that I have an excuse to smoke a cigarette
I sexted him with a GIF from titanic and it worked....
ARE YOU OKAY?
Physically? Yes. Morally? No.
I just realized u compared me to a coconut
Randomize
