The only reason you're wearing underwear tonight is cause you have a family dinner before
She laid down on my bed and played "I want you to want me" on my laptop. subtle.
I haven't even gone in yet. I'm sitting in the waiting room playing a game i like to call "Who else is here for AA".
I need to stop sleeping with republicans and cowboys fans.
you kept insisting that i was jake gyllenhaal and you were heath ledger.
Starting the weekend with a pair of pants on which the zipper wont stay up. Is this a sign of things to come??
Don't worry, I could have been accepted their by waving my dick at the admissions building.
I didn't have the heart to tell him that the reason my vagina was so "prelubricated" was because I had just had another gentleman caller an hour earlier. So, when he commented about how turned on I appeared, I just went with it.
Some guy just hit on me and then said, well you look too young to ride the emotional roller coaster and guestured to his dick.
Seeing your boyfriend, side piece, and great white buffalo, all in one night? Its a sign right?
Proceed with caution.
He seems like a super lonely dude. I bet if I gave him a picture of my tits he wouldn't make me turn in this paper.
So how does one go about leaving their family vacation to hang out with someone they met on tinder
Also, there's definitely not a non-hilarious way to ask to stick something up your butt.
Nobody likes ball hair. Not even gay dudes
Please clarify that he is speaking of beer pong and not rough sex
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