I wanna come home
And do what?
Kiss. Rip clothes off. Repeat.
Aparently his snake got loose in the middle of the night. Not a sex joke, he has a fucking snake
btw good call for not making out for a pitcher of vodka, this hangover is bad enough
Fixing to yell "you're too hot for her" at a Gerard butler look alike. There is absolutely no way this is going to end well...
What ever happened to the whole 'innocent until proven guilty' thing. Like 'not pregnant until proven pregnant'. That's how it should be...
Its okay I walked into your house, searched for my wallet in your purse, and took a shot of Tequilia all without eye contact, right?
Now you have tequila AND fuzzy slippers. Fuck you. I want that to be MY night.
Pants-less sunday? Also I'm high and independence day is making me cry
im coming over
My dad wants to dress like mitt Romney tomorrow night and tell trick or treaters they owe him candy.
Turning 21 will be slightly bittersweet. Never again will I be able to get underage drunk at Disney World, now I'll only be able to get legal drunk and that just sets a whole different and sad tone for my life.
Naked chocolate chip pancake making. I just spilled mix all over the place. My boobs are covered in flour. This is not going well.
Let me know. Show me one boob if yes. 2 if no
He wants to make me arch my back "like I'm having an exorcism". Not sure if I'm turned on or freaked out.
What did the sign say that bob stapled to his ass?
I just put a pill up my vagina. It was little like a quail egg. There is so much happening up there right now.
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