I am at the point in my high where i now know/understand chinese.
It's all fun and games until the last slice of pizza gets bong water spilled on it.
I just found a beer bottle in my xmas tree while disassembling it. God, I'm going to miss the holidays.
It's kind of sad that your greatest accomplishment today is that you stood up and didn't fall down.
She told me to wait on the sofa while she freshened up. She's been in the bathroom for an hour. I have a bad feeling about this.
SARAH B AND I ARE GOING TO GO HALFSIES AND BUY YOU A CAT. IS THAT OKAY. TO KEEP YOU COMPANY DURING THUNDERSTORMS SUCH AS THIS ONE. ITS BECAUSE WE LOVE YOU.
First highlight of the semester: campus safety caught me peeing in the dirt parking lot by kappa. Then as they were about to write me up, they recognized me, laughed, and left.
Jesus, you make out with one twin then sleep with the other and suddenly they don't want to play soccer with you... So sensitive...
A dude just looked at me like my drunk swaying was corrupting his progeny DUDE YOUR KID HAS A MULLET YOU'VE ALREADY RUINED HIM
SUNS OUT COOCHY OUT
fuck that its my house. if i want to take 1 bite out of the chicken & leave the rest i fucking will. suck my dick
Fuck that guy and his dumb haircut and awesome dick
Like I’ve seen him completely trashed and I’ve also seen him rip shirtsleeves off with his teeth and I can’t tell if I’m intrigued or not
I am witnessing a blind guy whip ass at beer pong
He's a security blanket. A security blanket who FUCKS.
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