i'm so high that my cigarette just tasted like chef boyardee. no lie.
just saw someone puke all over a michigan fan. he didn't even flinch.
i only understood the part that said mucho orgasmos
Ok see being that I'm not present or participating your vague texts "neeeeed that" and "vagina" leave a lot to question.
I was so drunk, I was kissing everyone. Their sexual preference was none of my concern.
Does saving a line for myself for the morning so I don't seem hungover at work count as responsibility?
Adult decisions.
You know you drank too much last night when your mouthwash tastes like water
i told myself when i was 16 i would never fuck an Alan. now i've fucked 3 and i'm punching my 16-year-old self in the face
Is it weird that I want to have sex wearing my glasses and lab coat while having an actual scientific discussion?
all i remember is slapping you in the face with a slice of pizza while laughing maniacally.
There is a time and place for BDSM, in-between disney sing-alongs is not one of them.
I apparently asked the cab driver to show us his dick and then he showed me a picture of his girlfriend
I think it's important to not involve Bar Food in any near future decisions.
This guy needs to stop asking about my feet
It was a successful conference for my sales and my sex life. Those are probably related
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