hey can i ask you a kinda weird question?
i know what the question is. yes they are bigger, and no i did not get plastic surgery
If its vodka, everyone is attractive. Tequila, everyone is dead sexy, single and fuckable.
you told me heaven would be the 3 of us at Moe's forever and every hot girl that walked in would ask us to play stone face
I had 4 margarita's and 2 mixed drinks and i blew zero's. Its a cinco de mayo miracle.
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I was high enough to understand and function with 'flip' while playing brick breaker
Damn. I don't think I could ever be that high.
he was terrible at kissing, so i just kept letting him motorboat me. he seemed very pleased with my choice
I just found a babydoll head in my sink where we ripped it off and did shots out of it.
It was kind of like a train wreck, except alcohol would have improved the situation greatly.
Did you write your name in the dust on our toilet tank?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
They just dared her to tape flip flops to her tits. Entertainment value cannot be found like this in any other part of America.
I told him I felt we were at the point where if I saw him talking to another girl, I'd probably choke him out. So I guess you could say things are getting serious.
I deserve to be covered in dicks
Listen this is important.. if I die tonight you have to be the drug dealer at my funeral
Also I've decided to start stealing shot glasses after I do the shots. You in?
Christ, I'm so hungover I pretty positive I sent Luna to school with salsa instead of jelly on her sandwich.
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