If someone cleans their bathroom and shaves their crotch for you you kinda have to admit the relationship to facebook
It's nice to see a girl prepared for the walk of shame. She brought headphones
Do you knowwwwww you never ha to pee while lhr on eztacy
If I don't have carpet burn in the morning you aren't trying hard enough.
NEVER PUT A LIT CIGARETTE BEHIND YOUR EAR
Hes wearing a shirt that says warning shitshow and i cant help but think his attorney made him wear it so ppl know the dangers.
Whatever happend to that lawsuit where he got sued for shittig in that fish tank
I got to see a stripper that did magic last night. It was glorious.
So I'm dropping a fat deuce at work, and the lock on the stall door slips and the door slides open, when suddenly someone comes in. Now I have two options, I can either get up quickly and try to shut the door quickly (not easy to do with one hand) or I can just sit there and play it off like it's no big deal and I always dump at work with the door open. I chose option two, and it was as awkward as it sounds.
I couldn't stop laughing at the fact he was cutting lines with a sears card. What 24 year old has a sears card?
Nothing like drunkenly buying a pregnancy test at 8 am to get out and realize your nip was out the whole time.
You were laying in a hotel bed drinking beer from a straw while you demanded everyone to kiss your foot tattoo.
She just left someone a voicemail saying 'you better not have plans Saturday night, cause I'm going to sit on your face.'
He said he doesn't "believe" in cuddling. Can you come get me?
are you the reason the first floor girls' bathroom smells like weed?
Drunk on wine at my parents house watching "RugRats In Paris". Comeatmeadulthood.
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